SOS kidnapped by diranged fan ficiton author
by Dmentia
Summary: Basicaly it's the gang and I have decided to start a fic competly from scratch. Yep the gangs all here trapped into whatever I want to do. Please read, it's funny...kind a. There is a little suggestion but not to bad.
1. An eventful day

[Welcome to the Fan Fiction Without a Plot(Chocolate Muse: ba buh bummm...). (An: It's very sad) This fiction is pointless so don't ask. I don't own anything and I'm poor (CM : You lie!) so don't sue me. This is the product of smoking some special stuff while I am writing this shit. ]  
  
"Oh shit! Did Snape actually kill me this time? Am I dead? Is this what death is.a big black void.?" Harry looked around, but he couldn't see anything as it was all just black."(An: very black, it's scary! I'm hugging a teddy bear)  
  
[You're not dead, unless of course if I get the urge. Right now you're just floating around without a purpose]  
  
"Who said that?"  
  
[The author of this piece of dribble]  
  
"Author?"  
  
[Yes. You are in a *drum roll* Fan Fiction Without a Plot, congratulations]  
  
"Uh huh. This is all just a part of the poison. Fight it Harry."  
  
[You're not dead, nobody poisoned you, and I'm just clueless]  
  
"I don't remember taking acid."  
  
[Look ass hole, I am the ALL POWERFUL FAN FICTION AUTHOR [[CM: BA BUH BUMMM...]]. So start kissing my ass, so cool stuff happens]  
  
" I am obviously not going to kiss up to a figment of my imagination; so bugger off."  
  
In the blink of an eye, but not less than half, Harry was standing in a two bed, white hotel room, complete with a mini bar and really ugly bed covers. (I'm the queen of run on sentences, don't shoot me)  
  
Harry looked around, "That was special."  
  
[Yeah, well, the "Black Void" thing was getting old; but don't worry. It's outside]  
  
"What?" Harry looked out a window and saw nothing, but the Black Void.  
  
[I'm too lazy to make some scenery]  
  
"So. I'm not drugged, and you really are all powerful?"  
  
[Yep, like I said, I'm the author and I AM ALL POWERFUL. That also means that I could very easily kill you off at any time, and say you have a clone. So don't upset me by saying that I'm a figment. Especially your figment. (An: People call me funny names all the time, but we'll show them won't we my precious? )  
  
A second later the door opened and Ron walked in. This was followed by applause from a studio audience some where far away, because I don't feel like making a studio for them to sit in. But you may rest assured that some talk show host is being deprived of some studio audience's applause. Let's say it's Oprah.  
  
(An: *dodges a couple of bullet shots from some disgruntled Oprah fans*)  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Yeah Ron?"  
  
"I'm really confused."  
  
"Well, to sum it all up, we are being held captive by a maniacal fan fiction author."  
  
[Muhahahahahaha *lightning flashes are occurring*]  
  
"Oh. Harry I think I'm on drugs." concluded Ron.  
  
Well that was a little of a fan fiction with no plot and no direction. So you can help. What would you like to see in The Plotless Harry Potter Fan Fiction? (CM: ba buh bumm...) Yes, I am shamelessly asking for ideas. Like, who shows up next? I don't know. Maybe it could be a homicidal Oprah fan, or perhaps some one who is actually in the books. But I wouldn't look for a plot development any time soon.  
  
Chocolate Muse, the Beta: You should all be on your hands and knees thanking me. When Lady D said earlier that she was the Queen of Run-on Sentences, she wasn't lying. Without me, you would all have to deal with run-on sentences, missing periods and commas, and missing capitalization galore. You can thank me by voting Draco into the next chapter. 


	2. new friends and apendages

Guess what, I updated.look this is a hobby and it isn't like there is any on going things at work it's just a fun little piece of nonsense. Although you should read it.reading is good for you.. So is typing reviews. Oh by the way thanks to all of you who reviewed and I really liked most of your suggestions.Any who didn't review should die, But I'll forgive you if you review this time.  
  
P.S. NO ONE IS GIVING YOU SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES! THAT'S RIDICULUS.eat snickers.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Just so you all know, I'm not her Highness Rowling, and I don't own anything in the Potter verse. I also don't own most anything else I add into this mess.not Snickers either (sigh)  
  
"Uh Harry".Ron said.  
  
"Yeah Ron," Harry said looking at his friend who was growing slightly pale, and unbeknownst to him seemed to be sprouting a tale.  
  
"I'm really confused,"  
  
["That's just natural you'll get over it.maybe.snickers"]  
  
"Who was that?" Ron said turning around.  
  
["Who was what?" turns about looking for any who would dare invade her fan fiction]  
  
"That would be the insane fan fiction author I was telling you about," Harry said as he watched Ron's tail slowly getting bigger.  
  
(A/n: I added a little hole in Ron's robes so he wouldn't notice.I'm so sneaky)  
  
"Oh," said Ron, who was walking around the room inspecting the mini bar.  
  
Harry sighed as he sat down on one of the beds, absently checking on the progress of Ron's tale.  
  
"You know," Ron said chomping down on a Snickers (mmm Snickers), "this place isn't bad."  
  
"Really," Harry said absently as two lumps started coming out of the top of Ron's head.  
  
"Yeah beds, food and a terrific view," Ron said gesturing out the window into the black void. (voids are pretty, Snickers)  
  
Harry took his eyes of the tail and focused his full attention on the window. His jaw dropped several feet landing on the floor. (An: he can do that now),"Uh Ron,"  
  
"And we don't have to deal with Death Eaters or Snape or."  
  
"RON!" Harry yelled.  
  
"What?" said Ron, turning around to see a cow with the Slytherin Prince himself hurtling toward the window. Ron dived out of the way just before the cow smashed into the window covering everything in the room with bits of broken glass.  
  
"Malfoy?" Ron gaped.  
  
Draco looking slightly disoriented, dismounted his cow and looked around. "Well that was interesting" This was answered by several hoots and whistles from the studio audience.  
  
["I really should look into returning them"]  
  
"What the hell are you doing here," Ron said angrily squishing his poor, delectable, Snickers. (An. Mmm Snickers)  
  
Draco was about to say some characteristic drawled out insult, but he just now noticed the donkey ears and tail Ron seemed to be acquiring. He looked over at the other occupant of the room, Harry Potter, who seemed perfectly at ease, and didn't even acknowledge the fact that his friend had some new appendages.  
  
"You know what," he drawled, "I don't want to know." And with that, Draco casually strolled over to his faithful cow. (An: Are cows faithful? It never comes up?")  
  
[You can't leave]  
  
"Who said that?" Draco asked as he looked up at the ceiling.  
  
[*Gearing up for impressive sounds*, Snickers]  
  
"Ron," Harry said, "can you hand me something out of the mini-bar?"  
  
[I AM THE ALL POWERFUL GODDESS OF FANDOM. THE AVERAGE FANFICTION AUTHOR. (Insert lightning here)]  
  
"The Who?" Draco asked wondering why he couldn't find his wand.  
  
[Did I stutter or something? I am a fan fiction author]  
  
Draco glanced over at Potter and Weasley. Harry lay casually on one of the beds sipping a soda and Weasley was looking at the cow, wondering if the sounds were coming from it. (Cows go great with Snickers.just thought you should know)  
  
"Well.that's very nice. But I think I'll just be leaving now," Draco said edging toward the cow.  
  
["Not so fast"]  
  
Before Draco got a chance to fly the cow out of the window, it turned Hermione Granger. (An. Ha joke right it's a joke hahahha.ok I understand, takes a bite of her snickers)  
  
"'Ello Hermione," Harry said taking a sip of his soda.  
  
[Will Ron ever figure out he has donkey ears? Will Harry get to finish his soda? And did anybody notice the way Draco is sitting on Granger.stay tuned for more acid induced dramas on BA BA BA bum The Plotless Fan Fiction]  
  
"Nice sound affects."  
  
[Thanks Harry]  
  
Well there was my second chapter. Hope you all got some laughs. I know I liked writing it. Here's the deal: this thing pretty much writes itself, I'm just lazy. So if anyone has any ideas on what they would like to see in this, feel free to tell me. Oh and review any way.it helps my ego.  
  
Chocolate Muse: Hello, I'm Lady D's beta reader. From now on, I'm going to adding my own notes too, because D has given me permision. So, in the next chapter, you can look forward to notes from me. Fun, fun, silly, willy. 


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